Be mindful how you treat people!

Gospel recording artist Fred Hammond is starting the year out with a bang! Many of us have watched Fred’s honest struggle with his knees. He even revealed a big disappointment last year. Well, he has let us in on a miracle in his life one year later!

Just a couple of days ago, Hammond underwent knee surgery. Only twenty minutes after the surgery, Hammond posted on Twitter, “Physical therapy 20 minutes after surgery, let’s go,” and posted the above picture. He also said, “Literally learning how to walk again. Stretching and exercising left til 6:30 then right leg @ 8:30… Pain, BUT I WILL BLESS THE LORD.”

Check out his note below:

- See more at: justfmj.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/be-mindful-how-you-treat-people-gospel.html

Hey family. ( from my hospital bed.)

23 years ago I put out my first solo CD called I am persuaded. Back then I couldn’t afford a booking agent so I put my home number on the back of the CD.. I know back then it look like we/Commissioned were BALL’n like crazy but we weren’t, we had modest little lives and it was cool because we knew it/BALL’n was on the way because we worked hard and believed the Promise of God that we’d be blessed.

I was married at the time and my wife and daughter BreeAnn (2years old) all slept in the same room due to the house being so small. And because of time zone differences sometimes the phone would ring after hours and I have to catch it to make the proper arrangements for a gig, but it usually wouldn’t ring too much after 11pm or 12am, and if it did i’d usually let the answering machine retrieve the call. But this one particular day the phone rang at 2AM so not knowing if it’s an emergency or not I answered the phone. To my surprise there was two young fellas on the phone who immediately begin to apologize. They said we didn’t think you would pick up the phone but I was telling my partner that your voice is on the answering machine and we just wanted to hear your voice on answering machine. Being a little baffled and still sleepy somehow I decided to chit chat for minute. I didn’t know these guys from Adam’s house cat but I begin to ask them a few questions like where they from? and they told me, I asked them how old were they, and they told me they were both 17 getting ready to graduate high school. I asked him how do they like the commission records and he said they were big fans then i asked about my solo record, was it out where they where and say yes we both have any and everything you put out Mr Hammond, and I thought that was pretty cool. We chatted for a few more minutes and I reminded them to keep the Lord first and continue to get good grades because you and do well in college and they replied with respect yes sir thank you for talking to us minister Hammond, and that was the last time I talked to them.

Back in February 2013 we held a video shoot for the United tenors. And a gentleman from Washington DC now in his 40′s walked up to me and said this is like a dream come true man, I’m actually here in Dallas watching you perform, this is great. He said he noticed that I was limping and what was the problem? And I simply said I have really bad knees and I gotta get them fixed. The brother was so excited he begin to explain to me an event that took place in his life with a friend of his when they were kids. He got his friend on the phone and put him on speaker, they begin to explain to me how glad they were and how my music was a blessing to them throughout the years (college years) but mostly how when they were 17 they called my house at 2 AM in the morning and I didn’t cuss them out or be rude to them in anyway but I took time to talk to them and encourage them they were glad about that. Here’s where it gets interesting The one brother from DC is a consultant to sports companies and pro athletes. And the other brother here in Texas and said its because you took the time to talk to us and not be rude to us and your music has been such a blessing helping us through college years and becoming men and musicians I want to hook you up.

He happens to be one of the leading orthopedic specialist in Texas and last Friday gave me and my family first-class treatment and opened up/operated on both my knees and put brand-new ones in them. And you know hospital stays and operations of any kind can be expensive and the brother has blessed me financially in that way as well.

LOOK AT GOD!!!!!

1 Corinthians 13.1&2

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1, 2 MSG)

Sometimes we don’t have to act all super Duper important, extra grand and suchy much, spiritually deep, quoting scriptures every five minutes to impress folk, or spitting prophecy all over people when they talk to you.

Sometimes all you have to be as nice and God will hook you up.

Blessings family

Thank you for your well wishes and support.

Love

f.

Look at God is RIGHT!!! Be careful how you treat people. You never know who He’ll use to bless you.

- See more at: See more at: justfmj.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/be-mindful-how-you-treat-people-gospel.html

I love my Ex-boyfriend?

So, over the past few days after publishing my post on forgetting the past and pursuing the future, I received a number of responses from people finding it hard to kick start the year because they were still hung up or unable to forget memories from their ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or people they had share intimate memories with.

Some find it hard to let go. Some people log in through a mutual friend's profile, just so that they can keep tabs on their ex, without them knowing. Letting go can be difficult. Letting go of people, ideas, expectations, desires; letting go of bad habits, false beliefs and unhealthy relationships... the list goes on. 

If you want to move on, you must leave the past where it is: in the past. I'm not convinced you can have a new healthy relationship if you are still in constant contacts with your ex.

Every day, every moment presents an opportunity to create ourselves anew, to shrug off the baggage of the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create an incredible future. 

Some believe you don't have to burn all bridges with your past; they say it's possible to have a healthy platonic, no-strings attached relationship with their exes. Some of them even say they are best of friends now. One woman even said she is such good friends with her ex that she approached him to help find a job for her current husband - by the way she still hasn't mentioned to her husband how his new job came about.

So I'm asking an open question:

Is it OK to get in touch or stay in touch with an Ex?

SINKING SANDS

Hello people, hope your New Year is off to a great start? It was Wednesday movie night yesterday, a tradition myself and my wife are trying to develop in our bid to decisively do something romantic (click here for more details). So we switched on to OHTV for Wednesday night movies; showing was a Ghanian drama depicting the story of a newly wedded couple whose love turns to violence after a domestic accident leaves the husband disfigured starring  Ama K, Jimmy Jean Loius and Yemi Blaq.

This film made me sad and very close to tears as I witnessed glaring domestic violence and the heroine didn't even know it was happening to her. I decided to do a post on possible red flags on domestic violence. For more information on the subject, check out +StandtoEndRape Ster  . If you need to speak to someone in confidence you can send an email or send a message on Facebook.

So, if you think your spouse or partner is abusive, or you suspect that someone you know is in an abusive relationship, review the red flags and other information on domestic abuse and violence covered in this article. Not all abuse involves physical threat; emotional abuse can also leave deep and lasting scars. Recognising the warning signs and symptoms of spousal abuse is the first step, but taking action is the most important step in breaking free.

Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence may be men or women

Although women are more commonly victimized. This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over their behaviour. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over another.

Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over the victims:

Dominance

Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his/her possession.

Humiliation 

An abuser will do everything to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

Isolation

In order to increase your dependence on him/her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. The abuser may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.

Threats 

Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He/she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

Intimidation

Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.

Denial and blame 

Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behaviour on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his/her violence and abuse is your fault.

'Get over yourself '!

I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it.

It’s the end of year - Yaaaaay! January seemed only like yesterday and I’m thankful the year has come to an end. Not everyone is happy, because they think the year hasn’t been so good to them or they didn’t seem to achieve much during the year, but I always say ‘give thanks in all things not for everything, but in all things.

Sometimes you don’t know how grateful you should be until you go through some difficult situations and come out victorious or see others that went through similar situations and didn’t quite make it through.

Anyway, the New Year is upon us whether we like it or not; for some it’s another brand new lease of 12 months to take a stab at life and for others an opportunity to re-write some mistakes made. Whichever way it’s a New Year, a brand new chance for taking a stab at life.

So, if you are feeling sad and sorry that the past 12 months didn’t go too well for you, well don’t!

You don’t need to feel sorry for yourself or throw a pity party. You need to have a plan, if not you will keep looking back. If you are trying to get over your past or bad memories are still playing in your mind, you are asking yourself, how do I get over the memories?

Well I have a suggestion, ‘fight fear with a plan’.

Have you heard the saying ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’? This is true! Every successful person you see got there because they had a plan. Sometimes you need a plan to get up in the morning. Naturally, I want to sleep all day or laze around and do nothing demanding. However, I realised very early on that lazing around doesn’t put food on the table so I needed to do something and get my focus on something productive to my future rather than your focusing on my past.

Mary Kay, the popular privately owned American direct sales company that sells cosmetics in 2011 was estimated to have net sales worth $2.9 billion. When interviewed on the secret of her success, she said ‘I write down the 6 most important things each day and then I do them’. Wow! Look how successful she became.

Before you look at specific areas that are important to you, you may want to consider for a bit how your plans for the coming year should work?

Having a plan is like setting long term and short term goals for your life. So consider these:

Make sure your goals are in writing

No matter how big or small. Goals not written down are just wishes. It’s been proven that people who write down their goals earn 9 times as much as those who don’t.

Make sure your goals are measurable 

There is a great difference between saying, ‘I really want to lose some weight’ versus ‘I will lose 10 pounds by March 1^st’. If your goals are not measurable, you won’t have a way of knowing how well or bad you are doing in pursuit of your goals.

 Make sure you Goals are realistic  

If they are unrealistic, you are setting yourself up for defeat. I cannot tell you how many people I have seen, (myself included) that have set unrealistic goals. For example, someone might say ‘I want to spend 3 hours with the Lord’, now if you are struggling to even have a prayer life, maybe start with 10 minutes when you wake up, once you’ve done that consistently for about a week, you can move to 30 minutes. So your ideal may be 3 hours, why not break it up into manageable chunks until you reach your goal?

Make sure your goals must have a deadline 

It’s amazing how a deadline gives you a sense of urgency. Deadlines motivate you. Remember when you were sent on errand when you were younger and you would race your brother or sister to see how fast you will get back or get it done before a certain time? Wasn’t it amazing you finished quickly, well that’s the power of deadlines. They say the most productive day of the year is the day before vacation. So, have a deadline creates a sense of urgency and keeps you motivated.

That’s it for now, I’ll be back with more ways to prepare for the New Year; make sure you remember these things before you even start setting goals.

Reference: Habakkuk 2:2, Luke 14:28

Is ROMANCE dead?

I was sitting quietly doing some work on my laptop whilst being distracted by my favourite television series, NCIS; the original NCIS (the NCIS Los Angeles is too ‘techno-gizmo’ for me), when my wife comes to me and says we ‘should do something’, to which I reply ‘I am, I’m working’. She said ‘no, I mean something romantic’; this got me troubled. With barely a month into marriage, it got me thinking, I hope I’m not becoming one of those odd couples I've heard and seen that seem to have lost the romance in their marriage.

This begs the question, should romance have a place in marriage? Should married couples experience a regular feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love? After all, I now have the licence to thrill and be thrilled.

Don’t get me wrong romance is not and shouldn't be the sole foundation of a union, however, it is the fire in the fireplace — the warmth and security of a relationship that says, "We may have struggles, but I love you, and everything is okay." We ought to make romance a part of our everyday diet in our marriage relationship. 

Look at what the Bible says in Proverbs 5:18-19: "…May your fountain be blessed,  and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love"

That's a powerful image - to be literally exhilarated by your spouse. This type of romance is part of what sets a marriage apart from just a friendship. Victoria is my friend, but there is also a side of our friendship that goes way beyond that - we share a marriage bed together, and we dream thoughts and exchange intimacies that are shared with nobody else on this planet. That's what God intended, we believe, in the marriage relationship.

The truth is we all as individuals like the thrill and excitement associated with love because it affirms us and reinforces our human connection with one another. When you were courting, all you could think about was how exciting and romantic it was to be together. Then, you couldn't do enough to please each other. As time passed, you got so accustomed to each other that you stopped making special efforts for each other. There were always so many responsibilities and details to take care of, that who could think about romance?

So maybe you've been missing those blissful feelings and you sense that your other half misses them too. 

Here are a few ways to put more romance back into your marriage.

1. DATE AGAIN

Date nights are a must. Mid-week, get out of those sweats and dress up -- and no talking about mortgages, sick parents and the children’s soccer schedules. Get to know the person you married again romantically. Some ideas include having a themed date – whether its 70’s music night or a hot summer’s day re-enactment. You could also have a first date re-enactment. You know walking down memory lane is fun and exhilarating; it allows you and your spouse to reconnect to your simpler selves, before life got complicated.

2. START YOUR FOREPLAY IN THE MORNING

Things like "I love you" in the morning, a special touch at breakfast, a "thinking of you" text during the workday, and cooking your spouse's favourite dish matter. They all count as foreplay, so start early for a late finish.

3.  TRY SOMETHING NEW

Be adventurous. Try out new things together. It’s all about the thrill of mystery and excitement you share together. Why not try out that new restaurant that just opened out of town or go to the theatre together and enjoy the new show that just opened. Oh and don’t forget to try something new in the bedroom, that’s always a winner.

4. TAKE A HOLIDAY

Get out of your routine and if possible, go on a trip. If there's no money for anything extra, take a long walk, have a picnic dinner or visit a museum; any shared activity that you both enjoy will work. Spending time focused on the two of you bonds you – you begin to ‘re-notice’ certain things.

5. SAY WHAT YOU WANT

Unless your partner is one of the elite 5% of society that happens to be psychic, tell or show your spouse what you need or want. Good communication is a must. Make sure this doesn't start and end in the blame game. Make sure you include what you want in and out of bed.

A Gift to you...

It’s Christmas!

Many people are up and about celebrating Christmas, but not everyone is in the mood. Some people are sad because ‘Santa’ didn’t bring them what they have been expecting or they don’t have the money to get that expensive gift.

I have come to realise that many gifted people don’t always look ‘gifted’. I’m reminded of the story of Joseph and Mary the mother of Jesus. They must have thought they didn’t get what they had bargained for. On the one hand, they were minding their own business when God interrupted their plans to gift them with the opportunity of birthing the saviour of the world and on another hand, Mary became a social outcast for being pregnant out of wedlock, she almost lost Joseph, the love of her life and as if that was not enough, when they finally reconciled their differences, they found themselves to be fugitives seeking asylum not just for their lives but the life of the baby ‘gift’, that would be the saviour of the world.

On closer research I realised that every successful person that we see as gifted today have been troubled in one way or another. Look at the greats, each one of them had one challenge or the other.

Abraham would be called father of many nations, yet he was childless, Joseph the Prime Minister once had a Prison number and locked up for a crime he didn’t commit, Bill gates dropped out of Harvard and now he’s the richest man on earth, Mark Zuckerburg also dropped out in sophmore year and created Facebook... the list goes on.

You are gifted. The fact that you are going through trouble means you are gifted. Surely, there must have been hotels, bed and breakfast for the King of kings, but only a manger was open to the King of kings.

Many times your gift doesn’t need to shout before you know you are gifted.

So, have you dropped out of school, lost a love one, imprisoned, divorced, widowed? Whatever you are going through today, know that you are gifted and enjoy the gift in you.

Merry Christmas!

Reference: Luke 2:11-16